everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
