She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
