Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
