does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
