billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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