i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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