she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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