Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
