on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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