The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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