He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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