well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
