You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
