By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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