the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize