When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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