sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
