Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
