he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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