the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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