we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
