I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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