is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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