apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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