i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
