hell yes lets make some ravioli
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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