maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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