Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
