Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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