I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
