singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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