i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
