New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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