doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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