I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
