You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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