you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
areolas are like halos for boobs.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
