grandma shit on top of the toilet
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
