Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
