We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
