remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
