My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Bring me that man meat
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
