I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
