puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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