Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
