you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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