Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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