I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
