So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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