If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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